I apologise, I thought for a moment that there might have been some basis in reality in some of your points, but now I realise you're just another maddo.
Please continue being mental, I'll leave you to it.
We had that around here yesterday.
Huge hailstorms in parts of Bradford - on my walk into work I go through a large park and there were still piles of ice sitting around.
What have I learned from this? That the British weather is bat shit crazy. :C