I have to do Emily's nails too. Fiona cuts them too short (one of Emily's OCD traits is having white at the ends of her nails). And then file, because like her old man, Emily has sensory issues.
Indeed. I suspect that nail clippers and files are an affectation of the modern white-collared classes, and nipping down to Boots to buy same never occurred to the horny-handed sons of the soil in the Middle Ages. We're all faggots. Except you.
bastard by name