So, basically you want to keep out all Northerners from the podcast and have a 'neutral' language idiom throughout?

Neutral's another word for bland. You need character.

No, it's 'carsel'. And 'cassel' irritates my oh-so-pert tits right off into the gutter.

But then the chances are I won't be listening, so do carry on with your proposal to further bastardise the English language! :{)

so where is the 'r' in 'castle' then?
ohh, hang on, do you mean more of a caaastle?

But it's not.

"ca" as in "cat" without the t. Then "stle" like you said in "whistle".

A section where Mr Bastard teaches me to speak all proper like would be good.

'The caart is in the carrstle having a baaarth'

You have a point there. I think they have baaaarn yaaaards.

Yeah, I know that's said the same way either side of the watford gap, but the elongated vowel sounds make it sound more toff. :Y