Actually, it's a proven scientific fact that the blacks love tories. We have earnt the respect of all the major tribes of the Empire, so shut your shizzle, or we'll set twelve year old darkies with knives and guns on you. Fact.
I'm afraid that even though we can apparently send men (and women) to the Moon, create chips with tens of millions of transistors in a few square centimetres etc, your balls are a much bigger challenge to humankind than anything encountered until now. It's all that wear and tear probably, combined with... hostile environments. No can do yet, sorry :(
