I have admitted to several lovers and many female mates that my initial espousal of feminism in the mid-seventies was a ploy to get off with more interesting women. Perversely, and meta-ly, this was and remains a reasonably effective opening gambit, even to this day.

I can remember a lad on the same degree course as me - the son of a nationally lauded/reviled artist - telling me his killer pick-up line before a party (anecdote fail: I cannot remember the fucking line. It had something to do with drowning in the layyyyydeez' eyes. It was ghastly), then resolutely failing with it over and over again and getting miserably drunk.

Google suggests several variations on "Somebody call a lifeguard. Because I'm drowning in your eyes". 

You're right about it's ghastliness, but aren't all of these ready-worked-out sentences ghastly? I don't think I've ever known anybody actually use one, but I suppose people do.

"I've lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?" was the one I always liked best, though I think I only attempted to actually use it the once, and that on a dare.

Actually, I think I've remembered the chat-up line, which was doing the rounds in the late 70s/early 80s, if that's about the right time.

When I drown in your eyes, I drop my cold meat

Those pat lines are the vintage equivalent of the Incel whisperers who lecture saddoes that they'll be irresistible if they tell women they're sluts.

Did it have the desired effect (ie. completely alienating the laydeee in question)?

She did see the funny side and a brief conversation was had, which was about as good a result as possible at the time I think. 

Always better than a loaded handbag across the chops.

This seems somehow related:

https://www.thestar.com/halifax/2019/10/24/halifax-police-officer-now-charged-with-stealing-from-grocery-stores-16-times.html

Talking of matters related, I don't see any info on what happened to young Trig. I've often noticed* that the gory details are reported, but unless there's a great deal of public interest, the sentencing seldom is if it's on a different day from the verdict.

*writing as an avid reader of court reports

Oh, it's Canadian... Thought for a moment it's was the Halifax not a million miles away from me, famous for hills, Percy 'catseyes' Shaw and the gibbet.
I was a tad worried we'd started arming our police, but Yorkshire's Halifax seems an unlikely place to start.

Halifax Nova Scotia is an interesting city, among other things a tourist town that really played up the Scottish heritage shtick. I lived there for about ~15 years. Unfortunately I never met any shoplifting police.
 
I shopped there once. Left the gun home, and paid for my purchase at the cash register like any law-abiding citizen. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Yeah, I've been keeping an eye out, but nothing to report.

It seems like a minor incident by Paisley standards...

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/all-about/paisley-sheriff-court

The poor chap was back in court again today. Whether it was for another offence or sentencing for his earlier ones I have no idea.

https://www.scotcourts.gov.uk/current-business/court-rolls/court-roll?id=0eb87fa7-8980-69d2-b500-ff0000d74aa7

Paisley's a happening town.

Sentencing I imagine, but who knows. If it's notable enough, no doubt the local paper will report it.

Y'all got nuthin' on our fruitloops:

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/feces-accused-court-1.5375055

True, but I was amused by this sentence (if not the incident).

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/two-left-injured-after-being-20978756
 

Reservoir Dogs!