Ah Paisley, special Teh edition

From: CHYRON (DSMITHHFX)21 Sep 2019 02:11
To: william (WILLIAMA) 10 of 54
Who among us hasn't propositioned a policewoman in uniform at the supermarket? Ok, my excuse is I'm shy.
From: william (WILLIAMA)21 Sep 2019 09:38
To: CHYRON (DSMITHHFX) 11 of 54
Almost as weird as the various offences is the assertion that he was trying to seduce them, and by the Scotsman that he was trying to charm the PC. Whatever poor deluded Stephen was up to, I can't believe that even he thought it was a seduction, or that his behaviour was charming and intended to have them falling into his arms with cries of 'Oh, Stephen you spoil me with your 2GB tbh'.

I can only assume that these publications have style books from the C19th.
From: CHYRON (DSMITHHFX)21 Sep 2019 12:49
To: william (WILLIAMA) 12 of 54
I'm amazed the court hadn't ordered a psychiatric assessment. That's almost the first thing that would happen here.
From: william (WILLIAMA)21 Sep 2019 13:53
To: CHYRON (DSMITHHFX) 13 of 54
Sentencing postponed for reports I think
From: CHYRON (DSMITHHFX)21 Sep 2019 14:01
To: william (WILLIAMA) 14 of 54
Ah. Hope he gets some help.
From: Manthorp21 Sep 2019 21:40
To: milko 15 of 54
There are competitors. Simon R & the guy with the green Hitler moustache?
From: milko22 Sep 2019 22:48
To: Manthorp 16 of 54
Padders G! He was probably a good egg really I bet. 
From: ANT_THOMAS25 Sep 2019 09:01
To: milko 17 of 54
Now that's a name I'd forgotten.
I do remember seeing him in the street in Manchester when I was on a bus.
From: ANT_THOMAS25 Sep 2019 09:02
To: ANT_THOMAS 18 of 54
A quick check shows he still exists.
From: Ixion25 Sep 2019 14:43
To: Kenny J (WINGNUTKJ) 19 of 54
There's a blast from the past!
From: Dave!!25 Sep 2019 18:28
To: Kenny J (WINGNUTKJ) 20 of 54
He was quite the weirdo ever since he arrived on the old Delphi PCF Forum back in the day. Guess he got bored of 3DSMax and his PhysX card...

Edit: Why do I find the bottom of this thread more creepy now? https://www.tehforum.co.uk/forum/messages.php?webtag=DEFAULT&msg=37967.1
EDITED: 25 Sep 2019 18:36 by DAVE!!
From: Linn (INDYLS) 3 Oct 2019 17:38
To: ALL21 of 54
He said, 'hey, sexy, that's what happens when you're sexy - you drop your cold meat'.

Hahahah. Poor lonely Trig.
From: Manthorp 4 Oct 2019 10:37
To: Linn (INDYLS) 22 of 54
Possibly the creepiest pick-up line in history...
From: william (WILLIAMA) 4 Oct 2019 12:48
To: Manthorp 23 of 54
Also one of the most confusing.
From: CHYRON (DSMITHHFX) 4 Oct 2019 13:28
To: william (WILLIAMA) 24 of 54
The mating call of the supermarket stalker.
From: graphitone 5 Oct 2019 07:25
To: Manthorp 25 of 54
You've never came out with me on a night out to the Queen's Hall... In my naive youth friends and I would challenge each other in opening lines while trying to impress the ladies. I'm pretty sure at one point our opening gambit to a rather larger set lady was how much she could bench press. (fail)
From: william (WILLIAMA) 5 Oct 2019 11:05
To: graphitone 26 of 54
I'm sure many of teh males here have done or said some regrettable (or otherwise) things in their youth. I cringe at the memory of what my 17/18 year old self thought was acceptable on occasion. The sad thing is that Mr Trigg R Fool is now 45. He's gone from never being in trouble with the police, to being so desperate for contact but so ignorant of how to achieve it, that he does this.

What is striking is his inarticulacy. The bizarre thing he said to the PC is exactly in line with the kind of stuff he used to post here. It looks as though it should mean something, but it really doesn't. Like one of those programs designed to imitate human conversation -  and not the more successful ones.

Either he's done something else, or he's up for sentence on Monday. I wonder what he'll get. 
From: CHYRON (DSMITHHFX) 5 Oct 2019 21:45
To: william (WILLIAMA) 27 of 54
If he's very lucky, one of these

From: Manthorp 6 Oct 2019 19:44
To: graphitone 28 of 54
I have admitted to several lovers and many female mates that my initial espousal of feminism in the mid-seventies was a ploy to get off with more interesting women. Perversely, and meta-ly, this was and remains a reasonably effective opening gambit, even to this day.

I can remember a lad on the same degree course as me - the son of a nationally lauded/reviled artist - telling me his killer pick-up line before a party (anecdote fail: I cannot remember the fucking line. It had something to do with drowning in the layyyyydeez' eyes. It was ghastly), then resolutely failing with it over and over again and getting miserably drunk.
From: william (WILLIAMA) 7 Oct 2019 12:11
To: Manthorp 29 of 54
Google suggests several variations on "Somebody call a lifeguard. Because I'm drowning in your eyes". 

You're right about it's ghastliness, but aren't all of these ready-worked-out sentences ghastly? I don't think I've ever known anybody actually use one, but I suppose people do.