I don't understand cars, and mine is eleven years old and becoming a PITA - recently had a new battery, I think the spark plugs might be faulty now, and the rear window heater/demister thing hasn't worked for ages - and... well, it'd just be less hassle and more reassuring if I knew how to deal with at least the simple stuff (or even what things are the simple stuff).

So what's a good resource to educate myself with - is a Haynes manual a good choice or overrated/unsuitable? Are there any other better books? Can anyone give me a red pill that means I instantly become an expert?

And, assuming there's a basic set of tools that'd be useful, how would I identify a good set, rather than being ripped off on something overpriced?

Haynes manuals are OK, but they miss a lot out. Normally the bit that involves lots of swearing, skinned knuckles and a blowtorch.

You should be able to find the actual workshop manual for your car online. This is the same document that the dealership uses for servicing/repairs. It's often the best starting point, but there's a lot you just need to try yourself and find out how it works.

As for tools: a decent socket set is essential, I'd recommend the Clarke range at Machine Mart. Good quality and won't brake the bank too much. Other essentials are a decent trolly jack (machine mart again) , axle stands (machine mart, or Halfords in a pinch in a sale).

For the electrics a multimeter is indispensable. Your rear demister could be a number of things: broken switch, blown fuse, broken wire or a faulty trace on the back window. A meter will let you check it all.

I'd also recommend an OBD scanner that plugs in to the comm port on your car. I think you have a Skoda(?) so you'd need to check exactly what it needs (my VW (same manufacturers) only works with a laptop and VAG COM software, but I also have a bluetooth obd reader that works in most other cars). Word of warning with reading the ecu though, it can often tell you about 'problems' you had no idea about, and they're often wrong (it tells you a symptom rather than a cause).

Other tools are best acquired as you need them. I have quite a collection now, easily a couple of grands worth but even factoring in the cost of buying them they've saved me at least double that in garage bills.

Once you realise that cars are just lego with rust it really becomes quite simple.

Thanks. Yep, I've got a 2003 Fabia.

Lego with rust which travels at over 100 kph - makes the just try it and find out bit scary. :S

Took a bit of wading through spam sites, but I think I've got a PDF of the workshop manual downloading.
Do you know if they're also available/obtainable in physical form? Would be nice to keep one in the car.

Hrm... nope, turns out the PDF is just the owner's manual, in Romanian. :/

Unlikely to get a printed version unless your work for VAG or get lucky on eBay.

Cars are surprisingly simple, don't be scared of them and just remember to are lots of photos before you take things off so that you have a reference. Have you met the sort of people they let work on vars a Kwik Fit? If they can do it, you almost certainly can.

I'm sure Dan and Jon will have more to add.

Ooh, another essential tool is a torque wrench, allows you to tighten things up to the correct, specific torque. Very reassuring when you're driving at 70mph.

Just call me.  ;-)

You busy tomorrow? :P

After 1300 GMT, no. Glad to help. After working on Land Rovers for 10 years or so, I ought to have niggling problem repairs down pat.  ;-)

A Haynes manual can be helpful, or used to be before the internet.

The best thing I can recommend is to take each problem one at a time.  Use the manual or internet to educate yourself and that will determine if it's a job you feel comfortable taking on yourself.  This is also the best way to learn.  You won't learn anything by having a buddy do all the work, even though we would both prefer that option!  That's how I learned A LOT about cars.  I was so into learning that I did shit that didn't even need done, like rebuilding my braking system.

Fix would be able to help you out too, he'd be like your American Haynes manual!

I was more hoping for an American Morpheus... :P

I have a pill you can take, but it's doubtful you'll get any work done on your car after you take it!

:O Pervert!

 :-@ I didn't realize what I typed could be taken that way!  I hope you have a tight muffler! (yj)  :-$

They don't come any tighter, ken.

Must admit I've not used a Haynes manual on a car before, but I've fixed several motorbikes with them. I agree that they are useful, but not a complete source of knowledge. Various times I've looked at an oily photograph in one, scratched my head, then looked at my completely different looking bike in confusion. But they do have some useful bits and pieces in.

I also second getting a decent socket set and a torque wrench. It's not just for ensuring stuff is nice and tight either. Some bolts go into softer aluminium casings and if you over-tighten them, you can shear the threads and then you're into a world of expensive pain. If you torque up according to the manual though, you're pretty safe.

Oh, and get some good torches/lamps as well. They sell battery powered LED floodlights on eBay that are surprisingly bright and very portable too. Ideal for lighting up the underside of a vehicle so you can see what you're doing.

There needs to be a emot guy who has his head under a car tire.

Let me torque your nuts for you. I have the wrench for it.

Oh, good pun!

good tools are better than cheap tools  

if you have a problem, chances are someone else already has had the same problem and there will be something online about it, quite often a youtube video

if you have a scrapyard anywhere near you that still lets people take parts off themselves, go there and see how stuff works etc without messing up your own stuff

take photos of everything before you start, then you'll know where it all goes back later on

most colleges will have a basic car maintenance course as a evening class if you're interested

almost all of it is much easier than people think it will be

Amen on the tools!  Having the right tool for the job is the biggest hurdle in getting the job done!  It's taken me ~30 years but I have a pretty excellent set of tools, and I'm not even a TV repairman! 

I thought you guys over there liked King Dick™ tools...