Hello all. Been lurking quite a bit recently, life is uber busy and William is taking up most of my time (in a good way!)

Turning 30 was the worst thing to happen to me it seems. 3 years ago I nearly died and was diagnosed with a kidney disease, went through 6 months of chemo and now nearing the end of 2.5 years on a combination therapy which means I am now in full remission. Unfortunately the chemo has destroyed my baby making juice and now it looks like we will be going through fertility treatment soon, it's bloody expensive but we want another kid so not too worried about that.

About three weeks ago I slipped off my bike on to the crossbar and ended up at the docs to get a check up. Nothing abnormal, the doc said it probably was an infection so I started two weeks of antibiotics. At the end of the course something was still not right (more golf ball shaped and size actually) so went back and saw my doctor. He went very quiet after an examination and said he found a lump. Got referred to urologist within 4 days and on Tuesday last week got diagnosed with testicular cancer. But shocked is an understatement.

Today I had my right testicle removed and am now sat a bit fragged on morphine typing this to try and make sense of what the duck is going on. .
Not the nicest thing to have done I can tell you. It's a bit painful.

I have not cried, shouted, screamed or even reacted in anyway at all to what's been going on with me, I think I am in serious shock or I am dead inside. I feel numb and lost. I have no idea where to turn next.

My friends and family have been super supportive and work are being great about it but I don't think I am coping to well in my head. Can't stop thinking about William and Alex who have kept me smiling all the way.

I now have a three week wait for definitive results but from the doctors and nurses I have seen so far it's definitely cancer but no idea what stage.

I keep thinking that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger but does life have to try so damn hard to try it.?

Anyhoo, I know I can come here and type crap cause you lot will listen. I am grateful for this medium and know you lot are a bunch of good guys.

How's everyone else then? Have I missed much? Have the forum awards taken place yet?


Lost of Newbury

All I can really say is... (hugleft)

I know how tough the wait can be, and when things come back bad, the fight that follows.  I'm a 23yr survivor myself.

I'll light a candle for you and hope you get nothing but good news.

(((((((((BIG-HUGS)))))))))
Deanna

Aww man, that sucks.

Hope what ever news they bring is good. Can we all call you Adolf at teh next meat?

(hug)

Sure, as long as you don't mind an axe in the head ;-)

Cheers

Shit, I'm so sorry to hear that, and wish you best for recovery.

In light of things, I think we'll relocate the next meat away from Wimbledon Common.

Dude - it never rains...!

Stay strong, kick it's arse. Thinking of you mate.

Yikes, good luck Wattsy. Yer a tough old boy, I think that's what's keeping you from going all emotional. Don't bottle it up too hard.

((((((((Wattsy))))))))

We're thinking of having an awards category on 'most likely to have the other hanging on the wall'.

{{{Andrew}}}
Part of me wants to come over to Newbury and make you breakfast; however, Alex (and my other half) might get jealous  :-&

Blimey. You know how to go through it, don't you? At least you're still going, though.

You actually missed the great The Civil War. There were schisms, factions, breakaway republics and everything. We're thinking of making a compilation tape about it.

Cheers sergio. I am still in hospital so please do come and make me breakfast! The food here sucks.

Patch, can we set the sound track to old amiga games?

I've got fuck all to say, but Jane and I send massive hugs dude.

If you ever need a break from familiar surrounding, you'd always be welcome up here.

{{Wattsy}}

///// (hug) /////

Cheers guys. I knew I could count on you lot for support. Today is a very painful day and I am missing a body part that was extremely close to me.

I can't wait to get out of here and go home to see my son. Then the waiting starts so gonna throw my self into uni work.

Now where are my painkillers?

That's shitty man! Do you get to keep the one they removed? Hope everything turns out ok now.

Sorry to hear that!  You only need one though, right?

You cruel bastard, it's the right one that's been whipped out.