My journey to work in the morning goes like this. I get in my car at Great Notley, travel relatively unimpeded for about 12 miles to Mark's Tey then hop onto the A12 for a couple of miles and get off for Colchester. All this takes about 25 minutes. I then get clogged up for the last mile for another 20 minutes. I then park and walk 5 minutes to work.

I can live with this, it's fine and the nature of my route to work.

What irks me however is that my bodyclock insist that I urgently need to take a crap at around the point of coming off the A12. Everyday for the last 2 weeks. By the time I've parked my stomach is cramping and I'm jiggling around trying not to crap myself.

The 5 minute walk is even more interesting. Walking as fast as possible with your knees tight together is not fun.

All this ends in an explosive and tremendously relieving dump when I arrive at work.

Trying to go before I leave yields no results.

This all annoys me greatly. :-(

Post of the day!

There's no point in attempting to go before you leave for work - one of the small pleasures of the working day is knowing that you're getting paid when you take a dump. Crapping at home always seems less profitable.

 

Have you tried not eating a can of lentil soup every morning? (Or possibly some other dietary tweaking.)

Cut a hole in your seat and put a potty underneath?

Would that be a carmode?

So what was it you changed a fortnight ago?

Thank you for sharing so generously, Jeez.

You need to start car sharing with a couple of girls. And a cup.

You're all lovely.

I have thought about a cork, or some serious stool hardening medication.

I haven't changed anything, I'm not a breakfast person so it's invariably dinner from the previous night, but nothing much has changed there either.

Dammit.

Eat dinner at breakfast time and breakfast at dinner time.

 

Problem solved.

Bodies don't just suddenly decide to start shitting at a certain time for no reason - something must have changed!

OK, what's changed recently.

Interviewing for new jobs.
Wife is pregnant.
Suddenly found some decent form in snooker after 25 years of trying and knocked in a 61.
Showering more often because of the weather.
Spending more money than usual on maternity stuff.
New person started in my department for me to boss around.

I can't think that any of these would make me want to poop at inappropriate times.

Was your pooing usually at regular times in the past?

 

Or has it suddenly just become regular?

You might not be a breakfast person, but if you're a caffeine person, you might want to stay off the stuff until you get to work. It's terribly stimulating.

 

And you might have good stuff happening in your life, but it's still quite stressful good stuff - that can play havoc with anyone's rhythm.

I came into work fifteen minutes earlier. Job done.

Literally?

:'-D