The fleshlight would probably make a passable ad hoc flask.

Ew.

Will you be using 2 cups or 1?

We'll share.

It's traditional

Saves on lubrication.

I'd just bring enough dry/unspoiling food that preparation wasn't more than starting a fire, boiling water, and a few minutes of simmering.

Add the necessary pots, flask, lighter/firestarter, a decent knife or two, first aid stuff, and some form of survival guide.

A decent backpack, camp bed, a tent so I don't have to watch what Xen and Throb are up to.
A bunch of solar powered lights, insect repellent.
Maybe a GPS device to avoid getting too lost.

Definitely a huge stash of loo roll because the alternatives wouldn't be fun.

I can't decide if I'd bother bringing reading material, I think I'd prefer a sketchbook and assorted art materials.

And a couple of crash mats so I can do some climbing.

And some bagpipes. :)

No ice machine? No big screen tv? This is already beginning to sound like a living hell.

wait, are we all on the same island? That changes things a lot. A lot a lot! I'd bring weaponry in case anybody got any Battle Royale ideas. 

What sort of weaponry, and who are you expecting to need to use them against?

you lot, apparently, for the last part. And so, wet paper bags for the first, perhaps?

Hey! We're all pacifists. :@

Well, except maybe Chrisss... but a even a dry paper bag wouldn't stop him.

Wait, what? I wasn't the one who wanted to bring weapons along.

Pfft! Every item you listed is a potential weapon...

There's no way I'd just a bottle of wine or a box of crunchy nut cornflakes as a weapon. What a waste that would be.

Get him drunk, throw corn flake dust in his eyes FTW.

So that's what the crumbs are for at the bottom of the packet.