So now (20:14) the package has 'departed an Amazon facility Bardon Hill...'
I'm optimistic that this will be a big van doing a series of drop-offs at distribution centres at various points in my direction ending somewhere near Littlehampton (my local depot).
On a totally unrelated topic, I was once told that in the days when homosexuality was illegal, a common coded approach was to ask the time, presumably in a suitably suggestive manner. If the reply came back "12 O'Clock" then that was confirmation of mutual interest. I always thought that the towns Southampton and Northampton could be worked into a similar code; which begs the question of how Littlehampton would fit in.
On another unrelated note, a friend of mine who went on to great things in Newspaper editorship once worked for the Maidenhead Advertiser which I thought would be a wonderful name for a medieval contact magazine.
I should leave.
OK, since I imagine you're all hanging on every word of this thread...
Gripping. Can't wait to see how it ends.
It's tense. Can't wait 'til it's past tense.
It ends with a late delivery, or a lost parcel.