I'd run like a fucker if there was a ZENITH portable rock crusher chasing me.

I'm very sorry, but I have decided to buy the ACME.

They are having a MIDNIGHT MADNESS BOGO (buy one, get one) SALE.

"Q: What is better than a ZENITH portable rock crusher? A: TWO ACME portable rock crushers!"

ACME trumps ZENITH every time. Good call Smiffy.

Thanks to dongfang, I didn't even realize how much I needed a portable rock crusher. Now I don't have to ship rocks to another continent for crushing! The air freight was killing me!

Send me your crushed rocks. A recent televised hipster recipe for crushed avocado gravel toast has triggered a run on both.  As fast as your dongfang can crush rocks, I can sell them in 100g bags at a vast profit. Particularly if they are organic.

Can ya smoke 'em?

I've read references to people smoking rocks, so yeah.

Is Dongfang a brilliant piece of marketing to western (male) technocrats?  Euphemism for (large) penis with the addition of vicious incisors? A penis dentata?  A literal Cock of the Rock?

(Show me a potential dick joke and I get all semiological (NJ))

Dongfang, come over here and explain this.

I LURVE gettin' stoned. Which is (allegedly) gonna be legal here in about a year.