The lengths you'll go to to avoid doing chores. I'm impressed.

Asshat.

Ken.

1. Sorry you got hurt. Really. I have had a severe back injury and I know what you are going through. Somewhat. The fractured calcaneus, that complicates things a ton. If you never listen to anything else I say, do NOT PUSH THE RECOVERY. You've had a severe injury and even the little things you do will affect you now. Learn to listen to your body and take care of it.

2. If your doctor recommends heat at this point, find another doctor. Inflammation is a big problem. Ice and cool compresses are your friend.

3. Do NOT blow off pain management. It WILL help and you DO need it. Trying to be a tough guy will make you miserable and I will end up coming over to console your wife, in the Biblical sense.  :-P Remeber, I can still fly airplanes, so it isn't a long trip.  LOL

4. What the hell were you doing climbing onto the roof to clean a gutter??? You stay on the ladder and move it as you go. You carry a hammer in a hammer holder to bang in the gutter nails as you clean. You DO NOT lean side to side and try to reach as far as possible, you move the ladder. Or you fall down and go boom.

5. There are neighborhood boys who should be coming around to clean your gutters. If they won't do it, grab one of them, smack him around a bit and call him a lazy snipe; then you force him to do it at the point of a shotgun. When he is done give that 15 year-old a twenty, a case of scrod beer and a bag of dried green stuff.

6. What the HELL were you doing up on a ladder when you have a boy???

7. Why is your wife giving you a list? Do you give her one? I don't do lists; if my wife hands me a list, I'll ask her if she wants to see my list. I do projects. Nobody tells me to do them, they get done because they need to be done.

8. This is all your wife's fault because of the list. You will no longer be required, or asked, to do any more housework, no laundry, definitely NO VACUUMING as that is the worst thing for a guy with broken vertebrae (seriously). Cooking is optional if you like it and feel up to it.

9. I hope you recover quickly. It is still about a three hour flight depending on the platform I fly and then she has to make up stories about where she is going...  (drool)

 

IIeeee, Ken that's awful! Get well quick. Big hugs!

Kenny, that is an awesome idea. Do it! You could be rich.

Just curious, but have you ever cleaned gutters before?

Do get well soon. I agree with the advice about guzzling as much pain medicine as is on offer.

Exactly!  The National Creepy Clown Association has a lot to answer for.

Hiya everyone!  I was allowed to come home last night.  Not sure if I posted it, but here is the final injury totals.

2 fractured vertebrae in my lower back.
1 fractured heel.

They aren't going to operate on my back, I have a very large brace to wear for 3 months and they hope that it will heal on its own.  I will find out next week about my heel.  It actually gives me more pain than my back, but that's not saying much.  They both hurt like a bitch.  This is the first time I've ever had a broken/fractured bone.  They kept asking me to rate my pain from 1-10, 10 being the worst pain I've ever felt.  It was easily a 10!

Now I've got recovery to go through.  I'm super sore but every day it gets a little better. Being home in my own bed makes a big difference.

Some of the questions you guys ask or things you've said are funny.

Yes, I've cleaned my gutters twice a year for about 15 years now.  I take a leaf blower with me and just blow them out. It turns a 2 hour job into a 15 minute job.  Works great!  I wasn't using the ladder for anything other than a stairway to the roof.  I wasn't standing on it and cleaning the gutters.  I put up the ladder and started climbing, and when I got to the roof and made a step towards it my ladder slid on the pavement on the driveway.  I had one foot on the ladder and one foot in the air.  I landed in a jackknive position and then my head bounced off the pavement.  I can understand the damage to my back, but I have no idea what happened to my heel.  I also don't know how I didn't crack my skull open.  But they checked my head and it didn't hurt one bit.

I didn't get to enjoy the ride in the helicopter either.  I was strapped to a backboard and couldn't move.  I pretty much only saw the rotors and sky.  It did turn an hour and a half drive into 25 minutes though, so that was nice.

When I arrived at the Trauma Center about 15 people surrounded me and proceeded to cut all my clothes off.  I couldn't even enjoy it because each was trying to ask me something.  One of them shoved a finger up my ass and I said "What the hell man?  I don't think that was necessary!"  The others thought it was funny, I didn't think it was funny and they guy is lucky I had a broken back and heel and was strapped to a board!

I remained strapped to that board for about 10 hours.  At that point I considered it torture.    My body hurt worse from the board than from the fall.  They kept saying we had to wait for the results of my CT scans, which were done hours before. They wouldn't let me drink anything or roll on my side.  At this point I started getting pissed and my mum started getting me water in a little cup to drink.  And I started trying to get on my side.  After a little of this they gave me a bed and took me off that fucking board!

The rest is pretty typical hospital stay stuff.  Fall asleep, someone walks in to ask the same 10 questions as the last person.  Fall asleep again and it's time for a test....

Again, sorry about the injury. I've been there.
  They were checking nerve response to see if you were suffering from cauda equina. It is a serious condition that would require immediate surgery/treatment.

They kept you on the board to keep you from moving and possibly cause more damage. You don't want to have nerve damage. Mine was severe; 12 years later I still have radiculopathy (numbness) in my left foot, outer half and the tibialis anterior, nearly around into the lateral head of the gastrocnemius.

It makes it difficult to stand on my left foot and raise my right, say when I am trying to dry after a shower (I hate getting the floor all wet). I can do it, but I am not steady really. it is odd because my strength is good, it just causes stability issues at times, or cramping from overuse. If I am on my feet too long I will know it.

Take care of yourself and take the pain medications, all of them. If they give you oral Prednisone you should be interesting to be around. Let me know how your dreams go, and if you are ravenously hungry or if you gett jittery.

Don't start to think all is well too soon. Take it slow.



 

"cauda equina" horse's ass?

Cauda equina is a serious medical condition that can result from spinal injury. Trauma to the nerve roots at the base of the spine can result in "saddle area" numbness that can cause lack of bowel/bladder control. It is a medical/surgical emergency because cord damage or nerve root compression, if left untreated for over 48 hours it can lead to permanent damage.

<pedant>
Cauda equine is a spinal nerve plexus. Cauda equine syndrome is a serious neurological ailment.
</pedant>

Here, it is referred to as Cauda Equina Syndrome and is also referred to as Cauda Equina in abreviated form. I am quite familiar with it, lover - having spent well over a year rehabilitating from my back injury and CES being quite a valid concern. If I search for Cauda Equine I get results only for Cauda Equina.

I'm not a doctor, but I do play one on TV.

I was right, then.

Not so fast.

I am not aware of any condition called cauda Equine. It is Cauda Equina and Cauda Equina Syndrome. To be pedantic about it.

Yeah, fucking automatic spell correction! :@

How did you injure yourself? Was it your back as well? *

They have found a couple of things that aren't related to my fall while checking me out. I have something in my liver and they found that my heel and ankle joint has been fused together.  I've always had trouble standing because of the pain in my feet, legs, and back and that could be a reason.


*I see it was your back, what happened?

Is that why you broke your heel, do they think?

No, they didn't really say what they thought happened to my heel. I must have just hit it really hard to the driveway.  They actually fuse the two bones together to fix the break that I currently have.  But since mine is already fused they aren't sure what they are going to do.  I hope they choose to let it heal on its own.

I had a really odd slip at work. I never fell, but two co-workers and a manager heard a loud pop! when I grabbed a lift post to avoid falling. they said it sounded like a mammoth home run being hit.  Little did I know what was to come. Fractured disc, diagnosis HNP L5S1, with additional HNP L4-5. I could not lift my left leg the morning I woke up symptomatic and my back was bent in the middle like a "C" even though I was standing straight as I could. I had to lift my leg at the knee with my pajama pants with my hand to walk. I felt like someone was driving a rapier into my ass cheek, through my pelvis and into my spine. My left foot felt like I was walking with a cold, wet sock on that was filled with sand. The left leg was numb pretty much for the entire anterior part and most of my left foot.

When I could finally see the doctor it easily took me 5 minutes to walk the 25 feet to get into the office.