The second one looks like someone squeezed his bag.

I think it looks like someone's just assaulted him with a pair sack load of bagpipes and he's not man enough to take it.

Aye, of course, any reasonable person would agree that those four hundred years of wars, occupation, mistreatment and terrorism, including the deaths of over three thousand people in the last forty years alone, were finally ended by a meteorite and a helicopter crash.

Do you mean Tungurahua? That volcano that's been active for over a decade now in the middle of the Andes, a range which isn't exactly short of active volcanos? You're going to have to come up with better evidence of a conspiracy than that.

Aaaaaaandrew! :@

:((

You arse.

Succinct.

What now?! Did it start swirling because someone took the plug out from the bottom of the ocean? It was probably one of those tube worms. Never trusted them slimy buggers.

I try to be accurate.

Also, somebody keeps hiding my iPad charging cable.

Buy a spare.

Oh yeah, I hate living on a round planet.

That's exactly what they want me to do.

Are you suggested that someone in the employ of Apple is hiding accessories simply so that you have to buy more?

Makes sense. I didn't think they could sell that may iToys.

Are you going to organise your predictions in an easy to read way or not?