If the beam is invisible, how do you know it's there?

Wind, heat, and smell?

Splendid.

It's not a monologue, it's raving.

No wonder Hulk Hogan and Bowie are ex readers of your blog. Even they couldn't be so punch drunk or spaced out not to come to some sense eventually.

(And I do realise that hogan, as a wrestler rather than boxer, would not be punch drunk per se, but substitute with whatever happens to wrestlers when they get dropped on their heads too often)

I'm guessing it's Voldemort?

Nice one! That'll leave teh old liberal fag reelin' on teh ropes!

I haev teh pwned.

Well, they had to get it right sooner or later. Fling enough shit at the wall, and some of it's bound to stick.

You think you're taking the piss, but it's a slippery slope to a bed in the cell next to his.

But at least the walls will be nice and soft should he be unable to control said slippage.

 

Of course, it'd be a bugger to decorate.

Just out of idle curiosity, what sort of timelines are you talking about here? As far as I can tell, you're predicting Armageddon, and I'm wondering whether I should bother pre-ordering Borderlands 2.