That'd be awesome! And we'd never need mechanics again, as it'd just be case of getting underneath and flattening/straightening the brushes out again.

 

And the headlights would randomly stop/start working for no apparent reason.

 

And random sections of track would lose power despite being connected perfectly and having every appearance of being totally fine.

And I'd regularly come off at corners and chip the skirting board! :$

This is what I want you guys to do tonight.

What, turn videos into animated GIFs to annoy peteR?

HA, that will work as well!

he'll get so mad, he'll start a riot or something.

I wouldn't doubt if it was him behind the current riots. Someone probably didn't offer the options he required on a phone or laptop or something and it set him in a rage!

you been posting on the BBC site?

haha no. I don't want you to machine gun people down. I just think guns server as a good deterrent. Plus a bullet in the knee never killed anyone.

Server? Can you tell I was up at 6 AM pissing with servers this morning? I have servers and riots on the brain!

Did you order your baseball bat from Amazon or are you just going to rock them to death if they decide to loot your area?

I just did a walk around Croydon and Purley, and... well I should have joined the looting and got a decent pair of walking shoes, because after 12 miles the cheap crap I was wearing made my feet pretty sore. :(

It's about forty hours after everything happened, but it's not as bad as I was expecting based on the news/twits.

There's a significant number of shops boarded up - but no way to tell how many are done as precautions vs how many were actually looted.
Most shops (over 80% I'd estimate) are fine and open normally.

Of three shops definitely raided in South Croydon, two of those are now open for business (GB Cycles - couldn't see inside though, Richer Sounds - no stock so delivery only).

Not many teenagers in central Croydon, compared to normal. There was a police presence, maybe half a dozen officers in the shopping area, very casual and I guess more to re-assure shoppers, of which there were fewer than average but not excessively so - you'd get less due to showers.

Some people were apprehensive/whatever, but I'm not sure there was any particular atmosphere - except around the London Road area.

About 150m worth of London Road is still cordoned off, and didn't look particularly cleaned up, wasn't good, but again didn't seem as bad as expected - though that bit is mainly small/local businesses compared to the main shopping area, so particularly bad in that respect.

The shop at Reeves corner is being entirely demolished. Nearby buildings look significantly damaged, but (to my untrained eye) appear to be mostly cosmetic/repairable - fortunately for the businesses/residents there, the destroyed shop was isolated (on a traffic island), otherwise it could have been significantly worse.

Over on Purley Way (industrial estate), most of the shops are boarded up. Sainsbury's was open and no obvious damage. Argos, TK Maxx, Best Buy, Jessops, Comet, PC World all boarded up. Curry's was also boarded up but still open for business. Couldn't be arsed to go up to Ikea to see what that was like. Significant numbers of police around, but nothing going on.

Purley is fine. One takeaway closed "for a few days", one café boarded up, and a few damaged windows - but those could easily have been from standard drunken behaviour. Despite all the nonsense on Twitter I don't think anything actually happened in Purley (unlike Croydon, it's too middle-class; so might be a few bored yobs at worst).

Still occasional sirens, maybe even an above average number, but not really an unusual amount.

That was a report from our man on the street Peter, now off to Frank for the forecast.

Actually, good job Peter!

You didn't know I was spying on you, did you Peter? You're a fucking rebel man!

That's not me (the hair is too short, you'd never catch me wearing that coat, and I've never gone to Manchester), and it's so blatantly a setup.

You were bound to say that - it's a cunning disguise.

That video reminds me of this

Did I also shrink several inches and grow huge hands as a disguise?

Well? Did you?

No.

Next report from the ground:

 

Went to a gig in New Cross tonight. Had no trouble there - except finding the venue - but there was a disturbance down the road in Eltham. It was an EDL rally type thing that apparently was dispersed without much effect.

 

Got a lift back and travelling through central London we saw a few Devon & Cornwall Police vans but no trouble. Oh, and we got bagels in Brick Lane. Wouldn't know if it was quieter than normal because we usually go there later.