Hello,

My name is Mrs Annabel Laura am going on a cancer surgery today.contact my lawyer,Tell him that I have WILLED 14.258M to you for the good work of the lord.quoting my personal reference number BB/AMZ/900/2015/SWYI/316uk.Be informed also that i have paid for the state tax on this money to be transferred to you.My lawyer Name:Barrister Lio Bacon.

Attorney at-Law.

Lio Bacon & Associates LLP

Business Address:1-2 Universal House

Wentworth Street,London E1 7SA

United Kingdom

Email: barriliobaconlawfirm1@lawyer.com

      Tell; +44-7031-864-662

 

 

dreamland seems so appropriate

I fucking love bacon.

I was so caught up in bacon that I didn't look at the picture of that prestigious law firm.

So, er, how /do/ you pronouce your name without spitting all over the person next to you?

Finally something we can agree on: the sanctity of bacon.

I think it's pronounced 'arsewipe', as in 'spambot'.

They're just not trying anymore, it's not even an interesting read :( - One of my more menial jobs at work is to go through the emails caught in the spam filter looking for anything legitimate that needs forwarding on. You can imagine some of the crap that gets stopped is at least funny, but I had one this morning that came in from a randomly generated email address and the message content was just a 'h'.

 

What's the fecking point, even for a spam email that's piss poor.

Yes, it feels slmost tossed off, as it were.

I long for the spam emails of old with tales of lanquid blonde russians all wanting to be your bride, with many pictures attached.

 

At least they were stimulating in some way(s). (YJ)

Sadly, none of my luscious paramours sent photographs to 'expedite the transaction'. Or it could be that I was blocking hosted images in emails.

 

Nevermind, I suspect that my wife would've taken a dim view of my taking a Russian bride anyway.

Would your would-be Russian bride take an even dimmer view of you already /having/ a wife?

 

You didn't think of poor Olga did you, when you exchanged those vows?

I think she was only after me because of my unfeasibly large phallus UK citizenship.

Besides, another reason that she may not have sent her photo is because if I'd known I was getting into a relationship with a brick outhouse i might have had second thoughts.

I've just done an google image search for 'Olga'.

 

The results are not unpleasant.

 

I fear you are casting aspersions on the appearance of all Olga's by comparing them to an outdoor commode.

Well, my Olga was an outdoor comode (at least in build, if not function)!

I'm hoping that's a metaphor of some kind. Otherwise it conjours up strange images in the mind.

 

Olga's a terrible name. The Russian equivalent of Miriam.

You haven't seen 'my' Olga.

 

And I think of the name as more equivalent to Edith, or perhaps Marge.

Perhaps you could post a picture?

 

To me Edith's are grey haired and bent old ladies capable of carrying an array of heavy shopping bags laden with whole milk and jam tarts.

 

Marge's are stay at home housewives who like nothing better than to tune into Loose Women over a cup o' tea and an iced finger.

 

Olga's in my stereotyped mind are built like shot-putters, have the body hair of Geoff Capes and all the delicacy of Kos' puns.