If you're still alive when 2088 rolls around you should consider hiring bodyguards and/or calling the police - that bastard has just issued you a death threat!
I don't know how mortgages work in england or what the current rates are, but I imagine they are similar to america at a near all time low. Now is THE time to get a fixed rate mortgage @ 3.5-4.5%. You wont see rates like this again. Just wish I was in the market to buy a house :(