No, it's 'carsel'. And 'cassel' irritates my oh-so-pert tits right off into the gutter.

 

But then the chances are I won't be listening, so do carry on with your proposal to further bastardise the English language! :{)

I wasn't thinking of neutral so much as proper enunciation such that you could slash your wrists (or someone else's) with it. But then it'd probably be lost on most of the oiks here, so let's not bother eh?

You should will make something that will put people to sleep...

so where is the 'r' in 'castle' then?
ohh, hang on, do you mean more of a caaastle?

castle is "ca" as in "car" (not "cat") and "stle" as in "whistle"

But it's not.

 

"ca" as in "cat" without the t. Then "stle" like you said in "whistle".

I fear you may just be urinating into a oncoming gale.

I can't determine if you say whistle wrong, or if that's just your accent. :/

Maybe we need to have a "how to speak proper" bit, so we can stop trying to write sounds using half-arsed non-phonetics, and actually educate those that insist on inserting a 'u' between 'lm' (and similar nonsense).

A section where Mr Bastard teaches me to speak all proper like would be good.

 

'The caart is in the carrstle having a baaarth'

That would be a great section. I want to learn to talk proper like too.

Do caaaaarts have baaaaarths? I always imagined them as being shaaaaaar vehicles meself.

I'm not convinced that carrstles have gahraaaahjes either

You have a point there. I think they have baaaarn yaaaards.

 

Yeah, I know that's said the same way either side of the watford gap, but the elongated vowel sounds make it sound more toff. :Y

Fucking northerners

Oh dear, I hope your knowledge of chemistry is better than your language skills or you'll be joining Greg on his Noddy no-hope-of-a-job course.

It's not much better, but just enough to get by.

Yes, suvveners all speak proper, like.

I don't speak proper. I say "Rasscle" rather than "Rarscle" (sp: Rascal) and "Garidge" rather than "Gararge" (Garage).

Probably a few more examples but I just fancied baiting the northerners a bit earlier.

What in fuck is a rasscle?