Oh dear, I hope your knowledge of chemistry is better than your language skills or you'll be joining Greg on his Noddy no-hope-of-a-job course.

It's not much better, but just enough to get by.

Yes, suvveners all speak proper, like.

I don't speak proper. I say "Rasscle" rather than "Rarscle" (sp: Rascal) and "Garidge" rather than "Gararge" (Garage).

Probably a few more examples but I just fancied baiting the northerners a bit earlier.

What in fuck is a rasscle?

Oh rascal. Haha.

Indeed. Fuck knows what I thought I was spelling then. I shall edit forthwith.

Was the name of a pub at Uni which was frequented by a large proportion of northerners who laughed at me for saying "rarscle".

I leave you alone for one day and look what happens.

As a midlander, I am clearly utterly objective in this matter and can therefore conclusively reveal to you, here tonight, the correct pronunciations of various words:

1. Castle is pronounced castle and not car-sul.
2. Grass is pronounced grass and not grarse.
3. Bath is pronounced bath and not barth.

You may notice that, in many of these cases, the clue is in the spelling.


Now, that aside, I think all will agree that I do indeed have a dull and indecipherable voice. Not really down to my accent, more my actual voice itself. Which is a shame, as I'd quite like to do presenting.

Mouse would be fucking great as a presenter, I feel. He has a good clear voice and is witty/funny with it. He obviously has the advantage of not sounding like a southerner, but I am not judging on those criteria.

Sinky would be an ideal presenter because he has a sexy voice and everyone in the world would listen just to hear him and possibly masturbate. Unfortunately I doubt he'd do it.

I like Ant's voice but that's probably just cos he sounds quite hard like he'd twat you as soon as look at you. I respect that.

Who else is in the running? I want to judge voices. I like judging things.

Fuck you.

I think you've got a good voice, it usually comes across fairly well on Skype.

 

And (giggle) about mine. I swear too much. Mouse would definitely be a great choice.

too Southern (hugleft)

(you'd be good actually, but I suspect you'd need rei<s>g</s>ning in a bit. You'd need a steadying hand. So you + rendle would be good perhaps. But fuck me, two southerners (fail) )

DAMMIT. Only 13% of my life has been spent in the South :(

I agree with Drew. Well, I agree with him about some of the things he said, and in most cases not at all. But, speaking as a Northerner who's spent most of his life living with the Southerners, he's right about the pronunciations.

 

Haven't a clue about everyone's voices, though. The only times I've spoken to anyone else here were either in a pub, or over Skype while playing Vroom and failing to get my car to go in the right direction. I wasn't really paying attention to their diction (no, John).

THEN WHY DO YOU SOUND LIKE SUCH A SOFT FUCKING SOUTHERN BASTARD???????

I am from the Posh bit of Yorkshire. Like Dominic West :(

Much as I'd like to try the impossible and refine you, I'm afraid that my spoken voice* is so monotonically dull that it's unbroadcastable (that's prounounced unbroadca'r'stable BTW) except as a cure for insomnia.

* As opposed to the one in my head, which sounds like that butch guy they use to do film trailers.

Damn, the stain that is my accent shall continue to pervade.

I'M BACK TALK TO ME

Ne'ermind, let's just call it a quaint throwback and learn to live with it.