You should will make something that will put people to sleep...

so where is the 'r' in 'castle' then?
ohh, hang on, do you mean more of a caaastle?

castle is "ca" as in "car" (not "cat") and "stle" as in "whistle"

But it's not.

 

"ca" as in "cat" without the t. Then "stle" like you said in "whistle".

I fear you may just be urinating into a oncoming gale.

I can't determine if you say whistle wrong, or if that's just your accent. :/

Maybe we need to have a "how to speak proper" bit, so we can stop trying to write sounds using half-arsed non-phonetics, and actually educate those that insist on inserting a 'u' between 'lm' (and similar nonsense).

A section where Mr Bastard teaches me to speak all proper like would be good.

 

'The caart is in the carrstle having a baaarth'

That would be a great section. I want to learn to talk proper like too.

Do caaaaarts have baaaaarths? I always imagined them as being shaaaaaar vehicles meself.

I'm not convinced that carrstles have gahraaaahjes either

You have a point there. I think they have baaaarn yaaaards.

 

Yeah, I know that's said the same way either side of the watford gap, but the elongated vowel sounds make it sound more toff. :Y

Fucking northerners

Oh dear, I hope your knowledge of chemistry is better than your language skills or you'll be joining Greg on his Noddy no-hope-of-a-job course.

It's not much better, but just enough to get by.

Yes, suvveners all speak proper, like.

I don't speak proper. I say "Rasscle" rather than "Rarscle" (sp: Rascal) and "Garidge" rather than "Gararge" (Garage).

Probably a few more examples but I just fancied baiting the northerners a bit earlier.

What in fuck is a rasscle?

Oh rascal. Haha.

Indeed. Fuck knows what I thought I was spelling then. I shall edit forthwith.

Was the name of a pub at Uni which was frequented by a large proportion of northerners who laughed at me for saying "rarscle".