2. The accusers that claim to know me so well failed to point out the egg-based aspect of my diet, which - with my daily lunchtime intake of egg (I offer Exhibits A through D: Cheese and Egg Sandwich; Egg and Cheese Sandwich; Cheese Omelette with Chips; Egg-Friend Rice and Chicken Satay) - is far more considerable than the ketchup which is applicated to but a small proportion of my food-based consumptions.
3. Wheels on the bus go neither round and round, nor round and round, for the entire duration of a terrestial rotation. As we all know, busses must stop, frequently, at traffic lights, at which point their wheels are not going anywhere.
These facts clearly prove that this is a setup by a pair of insidious fiends that are jealous because I have two Os in my name whilst they are stuck with nothings.
In compensation for their besmirchation of my good name, I demand they cook me an extra-large cheese omellete, with eight skewers of chicken, marinaded in lemon, and some fried rice. And a 12" pizza. And a larget jacket potato with lots of melted butter and cheese. (I'm hungry)
I've got a big tooth-shaped hole in my mouth, which has made it hard to eat, so I've only had five meals in three days, which is clearly sending me round the bend, and preventing me from giving good defences. :(
Where's a flaming torch and a pitchfork when you need one? How are we supposed to organise a good 'kill the beast' style riot without flaming torches and pitchforks?