What happened to DUI? I'm sure that used to be bandied about. Is this some crazy thing to do with America having lots of states?

In North America, we say DWI. It's not just a US thing.

London. On a weekend. \o/

Worse. They're Christians.

What's wrong with Taxis? That's what we used in the states when we went out drinking. They were very cheap compared to UK taxis especially as it was 45 minutes drive each way to the nearest decent drinking hole.

HAHAHA Taxi. . . what city did you go to? Chicago, Tampa, New York, Boston?

 

1) You have to look up a number in a phone book or 411 it.
2) You better hope that you get a good driver.
3) You better ask them if they are willing to drive more than 10 miles out of downtown.

 

I went in an American Taxi once, I'll never do it again.

Taxi's in Lancaster, Ohio were an interesting experience.

 

Phone the only taxi company in town and they say yeah, we'll get ya.

 

Don't say when. They arrive when they arrive AND you could be sharing said taxi with several other complete strangers. It as dirt cheap though.

Wasn't a city, it was to a hotel near a navy base in the arse end of nowhere to head into/out of Fredricksburg. Cities in Washington were superb, yes you did have to call them and arrange in advance but what's the big deal it means you both get to drink and no risk of drink driving at all!

What's wrong with taxis, you ask?

 

I live in a town of 12,000 (34,000 during the day since it is the hub for this area) and if you can manage to get a taxi within two hours, it will invariably be dangerously beat up and driven by some fat, smelly man reminiscent of Tyrone (the huge black bloke in "Snatch" who was the terrible getaway driver) but with much paler skin and greasy hair. The springs in the seat you will reluctantly sit on are all broken (you won't want to know WHY) and the entire seat seems as if it will come right out so that you sort of almost bounce back out. By the time you get home, the cost is so incredibly high that you're not sure you have the funds...you might just have to pay him some more so he can drive you to the ATM machine, first.

 

We have one bus, the "town bus", and it's about the size of a large van and does one small circuit around the town each hour during the day and is populated mainly by the physically and mentally ill and the elderly. If that weren't enough, the wheel-chair accessible ramp that folds into the back was engineered by a deaf person, evidently, since the constant banging of it alone would give you a headache if you weren't ill enough all ready from the stench of pee. (Okay, I'm exaggerating with the pee.)

 

America is not set up for good public transportation, except within the biggest cities. The corporations have too much power and those in the car business make too much money on car sales to care about much else.

Somehow, you mentioning Tyrone made me laugh so heartily that I'm now cleaning a few specks of water off my monitor. Thank you :')

edit:

You're mighty welcome.

 

I know people think Tyrone is one of the funniest in there, but my favorite moment is when Bricktop is offered sugar for his tea and he says, "No thank you. I'm sweet enough," or something like that.