I try my best not to be tech support these days.
My neighbour in his 80s recently got a tablet and his son (who lives down in Devon I think) put all his BT billing online. Every couple of months he comes round asking me to help him login to his BT account to check his bill. The same neighbour was on holiday about 6 months ago and a BT Homehub arrived at ours. I knew the day he got back there would be a request to setup his broadband (thankfully it was straight forward and "just worked").
My issue here isn't the old neighbour, it's the son who gave all this tech to his elderly parents without showing them how to actually use it properly.
Your problem lies in the opening text.
This:
N: Have u gt ne puter prts lying around ?
M: Like what ?
Should be this:
N: Have u gt ne puter prts lying around ?
M: I'm terribly sorry, but I don't understand buffoon. Could you please translate this into an accepted language such as English? Thank you so much for your understanding, and have a great day!
Straying dangerously close to buffoon waters with that last sentence!
John Waters' less successful younger brother?
I used to help everyone who asked, now I just say all my knowledge is 10 years out of date and I can't help
mostly because of the lack of appreciation, 4-5 hours fixing a PC = cheers mate from people who will happily pay someone to spend 1/2 an hour washing their car.
I ask for a bottle of good vodka for any sizeable PC job. You would be amazed how many people believe that Smirnoff is good vodka.
I have *so* scored you down.
If you're going to make a martini it doesn't really matter IMO. OTOH, if drinking neat, slightly chilled, I'm rather fond of Grey Goose. Even if it is French (!)
What recommendeth thou?
Yup, Grey Goose or Belvedere. Nothing else I've tasted approaches them, though I won't turn my refuse Absolut. But then I won't refuse brake fluid.
And for me, it's always best straight from the freezer.