Bank holiday Monday, around 10:30, phone rings:
Me - Hello
Alex (for that is his name) - Hello, Mr. Angerlus, this is Alex from the Microsoft Service Centre...
Me - My name's not Angerlus. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name - who are you?
Alex - I'm Alex from the Microsoft Service Center. We've been receiving error messages from your computer because a piece of malicious software has been installed. If you don't fix it it will corrupt your hard drive.
Me - You what? You're with who?
Alex - Are you logged on to your computer at the moment?
Me - Alex, that isn't even remotely convincing, but thanks for trying (me hangs up).