PHP is fucking ugly
And you're an oil painting?
:?
nobody cares if you know PHP (since it's so commonplace)
By the same token, there's plenty of help readily available.
he wants something that might be found interesting instead of mundane.
Your suggestion of CF (or derivative thereof) indicates a confusion between 'interesting' and 'quaint'.
Or maybe it's because it has a silly name and recursive acronym and is too many sylabulls.
The first sensible suggestion that you've made!
:)